Rod of Correction

We've been going to a Sunday School class on the book that I posted about a while back, Shepherding a Child's Heart. It has been one of the best Sunday School classes I've attended in a while, probably because it is a topic in which we are engrossed every day as parents. I've been wanting to post not only to share what we're learning but more so to try to put my thoughts down on "paper". We are doing the video series and have a great teacher leading very constructive and insightful discussion following each segment. I would HIGHLY recommend the video series for anyone, but especially if you have a small group or Sunday School class that it can be offered to. Tedd Tripp, the author, is so practical, gives great analogies, and is one of those who doesn't pretend he got it all right or has all the answers. In several of his points, he even brings up how many people differ in opinion. Anyway, you can ask any of my friends around here, and they can tell you that I LOVE the class and am learning so much!
The number one thing I've taken from this series is that the purpose of discipline is to bring up the gospel...and that it is NEVER too late to start! No child is too old, too far gone, or suffered too many of our mistakes. Our teacher has talked about how we can always get back to a situation in which we "failed" by just saying, "remember how Mommy yelled at you about picking up your toys earlier...well, Mommy was wrong to yell at you, and I'm sorry"...then you're back to the situation and can address the heart of the issue, whatever sin it was at that point. Obviously, they have to hit a certain stage of development to be able to remember that far back, but there aren't too many years where they can't. We're already getting to have conversations with Emma about the day's events, and she hasn't hit 2yet. Another point I like is that our goal is not to raise little "pharisees", or rule followers, rather children who understand the justice, grace, and love of our Heavenly Father and who learn the honor of their identity in that place. I'm convinced that the only way to "ensure" our children walk with God all the days of their life (aside from God's grace and election : ) ) is to somehow instill in them a love, respect and understanding of God and who He is...that they will think about glorifying Him in their decision making process rather than doing what Mommy and Daddy said is best. I know I'm raising sinners, but I so desperately want them to avoid a lifestyle of sinning, and that is my goal in parenting. I don't care if my children are scholars or athletes (though we definitely hope for athleticism!); I just don't want to have to watch them walk away from the covenant blessings of our Savior, and oh, how I wish I could force it on them!!! : ) A topic often discussed in our sessions is that Formative Discipline must come with Corrective Discipline...our children need the thought process with the physical correction. We need to ask questions and have conversations that help them process what went wrong, not just spank them and move on. A couple of times I have actually popped Emma w/o warning, and I can see such a difference in her reaction. It is one more of fear and shock than one of understanding and repentance. Hopefully I won't be guilty of that too often though I'm sure it will probably happen again. Something else I really took from his 8 steps in spanking was of course making it a private issue and to talk to your child about why the spanking is coming and how many licks are coming. I think the preceding talk and telling the number of licks really makes sense bc it is letting your child know ahead of time that you are not disciplining out of anger or lack of self control. My favorite part of the process that we've been doing for a while is reconciling and praying with Emma afterward. Obviously you want to cuddle and play with your child before "ending" so they know it is an act of love. We are hoping that by praying every time there is correction, our children will have confessing sins to the Lord immediately more so than we. It is the most precious and rewarding thing to hear my child pray in my lap asking God to forgive her for disobeying Mommy. We have definitely gotten tons of insight and wisdom from the class and Ben even mentioned going to it again when it gets offered again (they seem to offer it every few years). I could seriously go on writing for pages, but hopefully it will just be with me so strongly that it will come out daily in my parenting.

Emma Live

A few videos of Emma these days...the first one is of her in the moonbounce at our Fall Festival. The others were Saturday evening after a day of Christmas shopping and fun at Chuck E. Cheese--one of her FAVORITE places, even though we've only been there 3 times! After a busy morning Friday at the doctor and then to city hall, I was trying to put Emma down for a nap. She was on my back, I went to her bed, sat down, she started to climb onto her bed and then started screaming and crying. She kept saying, "My arm hurts!" and pointing to her wrist. She screamed every time she or I touched or moved it. After 5 minutes or so of her still crying on and off, I knew I needed to call the doctor...she hardly ever cries and NEVER for long at all. They sent us on to the orthopedic bc their office doesn't do x-rays...long short of it...she had nursemaid's elbow...her elbow had popped out. As the doctor was moving her arms around, I guess he could just tell, and he popped it right in as he was moving it, and boy did Emma scream and cry! I didn't even feel the pop, I was holding her. He told me what it was and what he'd done and then sent us down the hall for x-rays to confirm nothing else was wrong. She had already quit crying and was calm...and then, I had to leave her with strangers. Why did pregnancy not cross my mind when I was taking her with intentions of having x-rays?? I had talked to Ben several times but had said I shouldn't need him, oh, I could have kicked myself as my heart was breaking hearing my baby scream when I left her in the room! The x-ray techs were great though and said it popped one more time as they placed it for the x-rays. As we walked out of the office, Emma was proudly swinging both arms with a sticker in each hand as if she'd never been in pain. And I was praising God that nothing had broken! The dr. said nursemaid's elbow is actually pretty common with children under 5 and then showed me how to relocate it if it happens again. Not so sure I could stomach that one or trust my untrained self, but I was happy to hear it was fairly common (even though I've never heard of it before!). So, it was quite the busy and emotional day for Mommy...Christmas shopping and Chuck E. Cheese were the perfect follow-up! : )

Baby News!

With nausea worse than my pregnancy with Emma and carrying the same way, who would've thought our ultrasound yesterday would tell us that we are having a healthy baby boy, Bryson James Howell! In my last post, I wrote I thought I was having a girl, but I had a dream Thursday night they told me boy. I was not sure if dreams or "intuition" would win out...maybe I should pay more attention to my dreams, huh?!? ; ) Emma was saying his name with a huge smile yesterday morning. It was so sweet. She was a little confused at the doctor's office when Ben told her to look at the baby and pointed to the screen. She had the funniest look on her face and kept looking back at my stomach. I guess after several months of telling her the baby is in Mommy's belly that would be a confusing concept. The nurse said he has big feet--here's hoping that's the only big thing about him, at least until he enters our world! We're very excited, Ben can't stop beaming anytime he mentions "boy"! We were out Christmas shopping this morning, and I was about to fall apart looking at baby boy clothes. All of a sudden I'm feeling a little emotionally unstable. I don't know if it's just hormones or just how much more real pictures and a name make it. It's hard to imagine sharing our time with another child though I know we will love it. I think it's hard too knowing that I'm about halfway there; he's coming so quickly! Of course this time of year is so busy with Thanksgiving, Christmas and Emma's birthday hitting all within about 6 weeks or so! Anyway, we were so happy and relieved to hear above all that our baby boy is healthy and "normal". I have been so anxious about every appointment with this pregnancy. I don't know if it's just because I have watched so many loved ones suffer with losses in the last few years or just because I know more this time around. Who knows?!? Either way, I know the anxiety is from Satan, and I keep trying to quote Philipians 4:6-7 to myself as I also know it is all in the Lord's hands and plan. How trying and stretching parenthood is even from the very beginning!!! We are continuing to quiz our doctors on the VBAC delivery as we're trying to get well informed from a number of different perspectives. I so want to have a VBAC but am trying to prepare myself for the safest delivery for me and Bryson. Ben's not so fond of the risks but is being supportive. I am finding that men and women have very different outlooks! : ) It seems men are more about the most direct and efficient way to get it done while the women seem to look more at the "journey". All else with the pregnancy is going well, measuring on time, weight gain on track, no swelling or blood pressure issues, etc. I still have some nausea but most days feel pretty good after I slowly get moving. I am not sleeping so well which is a little discouraging considering how much longer I have to go, but I'll take that over throwing up any day! I love sleeping on my back, which is not possible at this point in pregnancy, but I sometimes end up that way, waking to a faint feeling...for those who don't know, the pressure on some artery can cause restricted blood flow and is what made me all but pass out during my ultrasound with Emma. Life is wonderful though, and I am excited I'm starting to feel Bryson move more regularly and more strongly. What a miracle I can never appreciate enough!

The Guessing Game

We're having our ultrasound this Friday! I am a bit nervous as I have been about every appointment this time around for some reason. We've decided this just might be our "difficult" baby as we had a scare early on with some spotting where we had to have an ultrasound and then at my last appointment the doctor couldn't find the heartbeat after what seemed an eternity. As she turned off the machine and was telling us we were going to need an ultrasound, my head was swimming with fears and emotions while I tried to contain them praying for our baby. Thankfully, she decided to give it another try, and after much pushing and prodding while I was praying desperately, she finally found the heartbeat. The baby was just hiding it seemed. I was overjoyed every time we heard Emma's heartbeat, and it has gotten no less joyful this time around. What a precious sound, and after these too scares, the sound has been more relieving than ever. I do not understand how any one can purposely terminate such a miracle...how absolutely selfish and heartless it seems. Yet, I cannot imagine the kind of sad, lonely, depressed, and hopeless state one finds herself in to be able to do that. How eternally grateful I am that God chose me to know His hope and heart!
Anyway, we are finding out the gender if all goes well and the baby cooperates. I'm thinking it's a girl, Ben's saying boy. Of course, we'll both be happy either way. I think I'm finally "out of the woods" with "morning sickness" as it's coming up on a week since I've taken any medicine. The last few times I've tried that, I've gotten worse every day. I had a couple of hard days last week, but I feel like I got over the hump. We'll see. I just realized this morning that I hit 17 weeks last Thursday, and I was sick 17 weeks with Emma. Hopefully this one holds to the same pattern!! Hopefully I'll be posting a gender this week-end, but we're not giving the gender without a name, so we'll see! The name thing wasn't looking too good, but we seem to be making some progress. The problem is Ben has a test this Thursday so we don't have a lot of time for names. Feel free to take a guess at the gender. I know most of you don't see me much, so you probably don't have a clue (or even care for that matter!). I'd love to hear what people think; I was just thinking that I don't think any one's had a guess for me. It's always everyone asking us what we think we're having.
As always, we covet your prayers for mine and the baby's health!

Fall Festival

Emma was the cutest little lion ever this Halloween! I was an oven...I had a bun in my oven; Ben was the "bun maker". I thought it was a cute idea (found it on-line), but Ben was worried it was too suggestive. We ended up going with it after talking to a few other "adult" friends who didn't find it offensive, and I have no idea how many people at church have pictures of us floating around. It didn't seem to offend anyone, just laughs. I hope that was the case for all!! We helped our youth host the annual fall festival in our church gym Friday night (they really did all the work!) where there were lots of games and fun! Ben thinks we're getting too old to dress up, but I think it's more fun to act like a kid and join in the dress up game. It's always fun for me to see other adults at church a little out of character. We love the festival even more now that we have a child...no fear of traffic, weather, crazy people, inappropriate decor, or tainted candy. It's nice to be able to fellowship with others and not be worried if Emma runs off. We definitely try to keep up and be responsible for our child, but it's nice knowing the teenagers will take care of her if she gets away. She had a blast! Stayed at the pool with ducks a lot of the night, which she did last year too! Once we got her to try some other activities with us, she branched out a little more being sure to visit the ducks frequently. She wasn't so sure about the whole putting the treats in a bucket instead of her mouth thing, but she got used to it. I split a couple of treats w/ her throughout the night too. : ) She loved the moon bounce. I'll have to see if any of the videos are good enough to post.
Ben and I were trying to really think through the Halloween thing this year and be sure we weren't subtly sending wrong messages to Emma. She was so young last year that we didn't really think much about it. We agreed on leaving out the "evil" things such as witches, ghosts, monsters, morbid things, etc. I was having a hard time with deciding as to what was acceptable being that the holiday has much evil and demonic practices behind the origination. We landed on just being sure we're not participating in any part that would send our children mixed messages. I read a few articles by some well-respected Christian authors that were really for participating minus the "evil" as it's a great opportunity to be light in the darkness as we are called to be. The church festival seems like the perfect grounds for us...we don't have to worry about the evil being mixed, and it is an event through which we (as a church) are supposed to be reaching out. I'd love to hear others' thoughts on the holiday. This was probably the hardest one for discerning boundaries for us.

Pumpkin Carving

The first picture is of Emma trying on her lion costume and practicing her "Roar"! It was a little small, so I was working on lengthening it in the crotch, arms and legs. She was such a good sport to try it on for me several days. We carved her first pumpkin this year. She was very disgusted by the pumpkin "guts" but helped us a little. It was a fun evening teaching her about pumpkins, and I cleaned the seeds and cooked them a couple of days later. She loved them, but definitely chewed all the flavor and gave me the remains. ; ) One morning, she asked for the pumpkin, so I brought it in and lit it up for her while we played in the living room. I got out the camera, and she was actually willing to pose and "cheese" for me. I love the one with her hand in her pocket. She went and stood beside the pumpkin and said, "hand in pocket, Mommy".

Visiting Great Grandparents

Emma and I rode to Lancaster with Ben a few weeks ago, and he dropped us off at my grandparent's house while he went to hunt. We had a great time with them and were thankful to get over there bc it had been so long. My Granddaddy has had some health issues on and off for the last several weeks and was in the hospital for possible congestive heart failure. They seem to have the problems figured out somewhat. They are trying some medications, but he is still having some breathing issues. It is likely anxiety related, but I think they are still looking for some more definitive answers. I know my grandmother is very tired and worried too, so I'm praying they can get things more stabilized for him. I almost forgot...the last picture of Emma was so funny! My grandparents brought out a box of old dollhouse furniture we used to play with at their house to give to Emma. She tore into it thinking it was the most wonderful thing yet and was trying out the furniture. In the picture she was actually sitting on the couch. The funniest one I'm not putting on-line, but she stripped completely down to "potty" on the incredibly tiny toilet! We were rolling! Just in case any one is wondering, most of the time she wants to sit on a real potty, she strips totally down too. Gotta love her!!

Hands On

Playing with glitter glue pens from Me-Mo, typing on the computer, and playing with rice...we love to keep our hands busy and working! I had to get the picture of Emma on the computer--she disappeared one evening, and we heard some furious typing going on in the sitting room. It was too cute! Playing with rice started out as making her name out of glue and rice; she couldn't wait to get her hands into it and enjoyed making a mess much more. She kept saying, "I play rice, I play rice!" It's so crazy that she is talking in sentences so much now. I don't even know when it happened. She LOVES to watch Cinderella, and would say, "pincess movie, pincess movie!"...one day, it became "I watch pincess movie, Mommy" (I left out the r on purpose).

Diva

So, we used to call Emma "miss hollywood"...not sure why we dropped that one. As you can see, she loves lipstick. I had my purse on the dining room table one day and found her in a tube of lipstick after she had pulled the purse down onto the floor. At least she gets it mostly on her face nowadays! One morning, I told her I needed to paint my toenails, and as most of you probably know, she LOVES having paint on her toes too! : ) So, I painted her toenails first, took off the sad remains of polish on my toenails, and she jerked the brush from me insisting she would paint Mommy's toes...you can see the results. Really not bad, the girl has some good fine motor skills! Lastly, she has been forever in my bathroom cabinet and was playing with my curlers one morning. So, we plugged them in long enough to get warm and rolled her hair. It was so fun and gave her some good curls! Girls are so much fun! : ) Of course boys are too...Mary Matheson and I dressed Kent in skirts and rollers when he was too young to know better! ; )

Big Girl Room

October 9, Emma decided to go back to her big girl room for her nap. We had been (and still are!) working on the room, and she enjoyed playing in there, but I was surprised she walked back there and climbed up when I told her it was nap time. The fact that she willingly went to a room for a nap should be shock enough these days! : ) She's been sleeping there since. We refinished an old little night stand from my grandfather's house, built some shelves, and put her mattress on a frame. The comforter we picked is pink and brown. We're slowly working on the rest. I think we know what all we want to do now, but we are doing a little at a time for budget purposes. Ben is hopefully going to build a headboard this month, and we may finish the rest. We are using the top shelf for books, and I want to put baskets on the other two shelves, but we are waiting to find out the gender of this baby so I know if I need to use what's in the nursery (we have some pink things that need to be moved if it's a boy). So, Emma has been moved for about a month and seems to enjoy it. We are basically leaving the nursery the same, which is why we did a neutral one the first time around. I'm sure we'll change a few things to make it a little more personal, but everything "essential" is taken care of. One of my favorite things about Emma being in a big girl room is that she comes in almost every morning, climbs in bed, and snuggles up...I know a lot of people aren't for that, but I love it!! She is growing up WAY too fast as it is. I know these days will be gone in no time, and I want to soak it all in as much as possible. Not to mention, Emma has not been interested in cuddling since she could sit up and look around! One last thing I must add about this room, she has actually run to her room crying/whining twice. Can we say toddler?? We were in shock somewhat when she did it the first time. She is in no way shy about asserting her independence!