Happy New Year!

We had a wonderful Christmas with family and actually got a pretty good snow for us that started Christmas Day...that counts as a White Christmas, right?
Can't say that our New Year started off so happy...the Friday after Christmas I was leaving the doctor's office with a nebulizer and prednisone for Bryson and Ava. The breathing treatments seemed to help Bryson, but Ava continued to worsen. That Saturday night, Bryson went into a second night of screaming and pointing--from what we could tell, he seemed to be hallucinating or just going plain crazy. I was stressed and scared about that, and then I got too weak and jittery to hold my sweet boy--spoke with our pediatrician to confirm that it was probably a side effect of the prednisone for Bryson, and I was having a similar reaction to those of some inhalers I tried in high school from breathing the aderol while giving Bryson and Ava breathing treatments. We were thankfully able to knock Bryson out for the night with Benadryl, then I sat down in my room and told Ben I felt like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, I had hit my limit...then spent the night trying to hold Ava upright in bed as she seemed to be struggling to breathe with every coughing spell. Ben went to church the next morning to open and usher, I got Emma ready for church and sent her with my parents, Bryson seemed to be happy and back to "normal", but Ava wouldn't wake. She would open her eyes a minute or two, so I changed her diaper and checked her temp. around 9:00. It was only 99, so I thought maybe she was just tired from not sleeping much. Two hours later, she still had not woken or played and fear really started creeping in, so I checked her temperature--102 then. I called the pediatrician who called right back very confused since I had the Bryson drama the night before...he agreed we should go on to ER and recommended we go to Levine Chidren's hospital and that we pack a bag in case they admitted us. I called my mom, who came right away and took Bryson while I packed and waited on Ben. That was definitely the most fearful time so far in my parenting journey.
The ER waiting room was good for us. We were not so thrilled about the slam packed room and had a hard time waiting when we were so worried our then 3 month old was fairly lifeless. I don't even remember now how long we were there, but while we were there, we saw a homicide case end with family being escorted out by social worker/counselor type women. My heart sank watching a dad barely able to hold himself up carrying nothing but a pink blanket--in fact, I am tearing up writing about it. Ben and I settled in to a little more patient waiting and gratefulness for whatever it was we were facing--had to be better than that! About 20 minutes later, a girl came running in with a baby in her arms, screaming, "I need help now, my baby's not breathing!". Seriously, I have never seen a baby that stiff and lifeless that was not a cheap baby doll. Again, we were counting our blessings. (I am pretty sure I passed that mother in the hallway after being admitted, so I assume that baby made it.) Not too long after all that, they took us back to triage and kept us back. Due to the nature of the illness and Ava's age, we moved up the priority list. Kinda' makes you feel better. Lots of waiting, monitoring, testing, and x-rays followed the next couple hours. Not so good to be ignorant parents watching your baby's oxygen levels struggle. Then, we got news that we were being admitted, bittersweet. Nice to know she would be monitored and my fearful nights at home were over, but never fun to hear that your baby is sick enough to be admitted to the hospital. And, I was sad I wasn't with my other 2 and that I didn't really get to tell them bye. As we were waiting to be admitted, they brought Ava a gift, what I like to refer to as her $6000 rattle. : ) Thanks to insurance, it didn't cost us quite that much. They were absolutely wonderful to us and our little Ava, and we could not have asked for better care or service! After we settled in, Ben and I were reminded of the many parents who aren't there so temporarily and those who are admitted knowing it's very unlikely they will ever take their child home.
My 3 days in the hospital were filled with lots of movies, chocolate milk, crangrape juice, texting and phone calls. It was nice to have some good one on one time with Ava too. Ben spent the 2nd night at home because Bryson woke up Sunday night at Mom and Dad's fairly inconsolable for several hours. DJ came up and spent a few hours with me, which was also wonderful one on one time! The shower was pretty miserable, as was the amount of junk food we ate, and the sleeping conditions weren't the greatest either, but Ava continually improved, and I got some down time which is RARE! Anyway, we were extremely grateful for healing and happy to be home.
Thankfully, we got home before Emma's 4th birthday! I was starting to worry they were going to keep us, and I wasn't going to be able to be with my baby on her birthday. I managed to get out and get her a gift so that we could celebrate her on her big day, January 6. On the 8th, she and her friend Linnea shared a frog birthday party at our house. Stephanie made the cutest frog cake, and we played some fun frog games and did some frog crafts. The kids seemed to have a good time, and there were definitely 2 very happy 4 year olds that day!

Merry Christmas!!

"The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; May the name of the Lord be praised."
Job 1: 21

I cannot believe yet another year is coming to a close! 2010 has been a long, hard year, but has been filled with many blessings as well!! Emma turned 3 in January, and a few weeks later we learned we were expecting baby #3! In the couple of months following my granddad was diagnosed with lung cancer, and we celebrated Bryson's first birthday. The next several months were filled with ups and downs of my granddad being in and out of the hospital quickly declining in health. Though the days in the hospital were long and stressful with a 3 year old, a one year old, and a growing belly, I am grateful for the times we were able to share and that I was able to be there with and for my grandparents. During those months, our house also sold, we started building our new home and moved in with my parents. July 28th, my granddad went to be with the Lord. September 24, we welcomed our third blessing, Ava, into our family. A month later, we moved into our new house, and my best friend's mom went to Cleveland for major heart surgery. Unfortunately, she went to be with the Lord also a couple of weeks prior to the surgery. And then we hit the holidays without a moment to rest...and I feel exhausted just putting the year into writing! I don't know that I'll ever be able to process all that hit in this short year that has seemed close to an eternity, but I do know that my heart has been forever imprinted by the two great losses of life and one amazing gain in my little family over the last 4 months.

Obviously, it has been a busy year for our family. The kids are doing well and have amazed me through it all! Emma is a great big sister, and I am so grateful for her help and independence. She was excited about her new room and quickly requested pink! She loves pretending to talk on the phone, dressing up, packing up and "going to the beach", role playing, being with her friends, and, of course, tending to Bryson and Ava. She is finally enjoying choir at church, and loves any classes she goes to, and we are working on memorizing her children's catechism and some Bible verses. The hardest part of the first few catechism questions for her was that they weren't elaborate enough for her. : ) She continues to be a sweet, gentle spirited little girl and very nurturing.

Bryson is 20 months and is more than all boy! My sweet little man is often referred to with the words crazy and wild, and often hears his full name and the words, "no" and "stop"! He also brings us much joy and laughter, and I am equally grateful for him! He has definitely challenged me in the arena of sleep...something I remember with fondness and long for in the near future! Ava has surpassed him in the number of times slept through the night. Sleep and attachment have been hard for him since he entered this world, and we surely contributed to those issues with our year. I was concerned about moving twice and having a baby all in about 4 1/2 months, but he handled it pretty well. Once we moved into our new house and he got his own room and bed, he really started doing a lot better, and some nights he even makes it to our bed without tears or noise!! Bryson LOVES tractors though real ones in motion do terrify him. He also loves to read books, play with balls, and has mastered catching; he's trying to get Ava to learn now! Emma and Will played a lot of football this fall, so he picked up on that and loves to put on Emma's helmet and run around throwing or kicking the ball while yelling "tackle" and "touchdown". He adores Emma and wants to be with her playing most of the day, and she loves his company most of the time as well! He has hit the language explosion age, so it is fun listening to him these days.

Ava is 12 weeks now and doing an amazing job surviving in this house! Between Emma picking her up and carrying her and Bryson poking her eyes, trying to feed her cookies, and also attempting to pick her up, there are rare moments that she can "rest easy"! I love all my children equally, but she is my favorite baby! She is soooooo laid back, and she has been sleeping through the night since she was about 6 weeks old! Real sleeping through the night...like 10-6!! Of course that is not every night, but it has been the majority of nights the past 6 weeks. Before anyone starts to hate me, remember the last paragraph...she has slept through the night more than Bryson! She has rolled over some and flashes some amazing smiles! The baby talk is starting to crank up as well, and we are curious as to the personality the Lord has given her.

Ben is working hard to keep the business running in an economy that is still not construction friendly. He continues to think through some future additional business ideas as well, so we'll see what the Lord has in store. We are extremely grateful for the Lord's constant provision and could write pages of how He has provided in amazing and unlikely ways. Ben also did a wonderful and fast job building our house! I don't think either of us imagined we'd be living here right now when we purchased the lot and put our house on the market a year ago. I don't know how he made it through the days and weeks of 16 hour days all week and then several more hours Saturdays with the business and house. Those were LONG days and weeks for all of us, and I am so glad they are over! Ben continues to enjoy hunting and just killed his first deer behind our house this week (also his first kill with a bow). He also started back coaching our high school boys church basketball team this week and is still serving as a deacon at church.

I am still at home and am thankful to be with our 3 precious children! Although the days are sometimes very hard, and I often feel as though I am losing intellectual capabilities. "Thing" is a very regular part of my vocabulary as I too often can think of nothing more. Of course I would not trade one minute of my time with the children and appreciate the burden Ben bears to make it possible for me to raise our children full time! I am still involved in Refresh, a mom's group at church. Ben and I are also still volunteering with the high school kids at church. As we are settling in the house with the kids, I am trying to make sure I really think things through before getting back into any "long term" commitments.

This is my favorite time of year as it reminds us of that most precious and Holy child that came in the most humbling of circumstances to save us from our sins with a sacrificial death! And I love doing our nightly advent devotions as a family and passing along those truths to our children as we keep our focus on the coming of Christ! Of course, Bryson's absolute favorite part this year is to blow out the candles, but Emma is conducting her own advent devotions frequently and singing "Always in a Manger". Too precious! I pray regularly that our children will always be more intrigued with the things of God and the simplicity of the truth we celebrate at Christmas than with the shiny, glamorous, materialistic things of the world.

We are grateful for all that the Lord has done in us and for us in 2010 and are thankful that we serve a God we can trust to continue to provide for us in every circumstance in the coming year. May He bless you and make Himself known to you in the coming year as well! Merry Christmas!

Introducing Ava

Our precious little Ava Noel came to join us Friday, September 24 at 8:03 am. We are loving having her with us, and the transition has been simple so far! Nothing like the first or second...I guess from here on out, it's not as difficult to transition with another baby! : ) She weighed 7 lbs. 7 oz. and was 20 3/4 inches long. Black hair, blue eyes, and perfect like the first two! ;) So far, we have a sleeper!!!! I realize she's only 1 week old today, and that could change, but we're hopeful it won't. It's been about 2 years since I've slept through the night, so it really hasn't been a shock to the system.

Getting our story in writing now, please feel free to skip on down to the pics if you're not a detail person. : )
After a week-end of "false labor" the 17th-19th and then contractions coming and going for the couple of weeks to follow, we were so thankful to have labor progressing finally! Labor couldn't have been at a worse time for us though--middle of the night!! Sometime around 2:00 am, I was telling my doula that I hadn't pulled an all nighter since college and really wasn't interested! Oh well, God's timing seems to be a good bit different from mine for the past 10 months. My water started a pretty significant leak just before 6 pm while cooking with Mom. I wasn't having any labor feeling contractions though. I started worrying because I knew the doctors wouldn't let me go long like that before they wanted to intervene. I wasn't sure where that would leave me option wise being a VBAC again, so I e-mailed several people to ask for prayers that things would move along. I'm not sure about times, but we walked to the house for a couple of things after dinner, got the kids ready for bed and to sleep, and then got ready for more walking. At the time, contractions had started but didn't seem very strong or regular. I called our doula, Julie, and updated her. I told her it was not urgent but that we were ready for her to head our way when she could. Right after I hung up, the contractions got much stronger and right at 2 minutes apart. After our walk, I went to check my e-mail to see if ppl had responded because I was curious if the contractions were improving because I had so many wonderful people praying. Not surprisingly, I had a long list of replies from dear friends who were praying. It is amazing and humbling to see the Lord work through people and prayers in our lives! We did more walking, the "birthing ball", and resting while I could. Around 2:30, I went and woke Ben (yes, he was sleeping in the bed while I was laboring with our doula!) and told him it was time to go. He said, "Already?"...obviously we had had very different prior 3 hours! :) It was nice to have "normal" contractions this time--they actually peaked and then came back down a few minutes. I kept telling myself through much of the labor that it was so much better and that I could endure that minute. With Bryson, the contractions never stopped coming...peak after peak...until the Nubane. Though still excruciating, it was much more bearable this time! I have to say that I wouldn't have made it without Julie this time; I was way too tired to be motivated. All I could think (and say a lot) was, "I'm just too tired!!"...and then around 5 am, the hunger kicked in! I whined something about not wanting to miss breakfast, and the nurse told me bfast started at 6:30, so I better get busy! : ) Sometime after that, my water actually broke all the way, and the intensity continued to pick up. Several times I was asking myself why I was doing this and trying to convince myself of why I didn't ask to get some drugs; then my wonderful husband asked, "What was that stuff they gave you last time?"...we were laughing later about Julie biting his head off! She didn't really, but she quickly jumped to encourage me and said I was so close and didn't need anything. She convinced me to get back out of the bed to speed the last two cm, and it worked. With a little help from Dr. Hilton pushing past the last "lip", we were able to get pushing...2 pushes and about 15 minutes later, they were telling me to feel her head and that I could help pull her on out!! Amazing! What a privilege to be a part of another miracle! Her cord was short, so I didn't get to pull her up very far before they were stopping everything to cut the cord. Daddy did a great job cutting the cord again, too. : )

We texted Mom--the kids were just waking, so it was exciting there to be able to tell them Mommy and Daddy were at the hospital waiting to introduce them to Ava. Ben brought them in the room as soon as they got there; they were both speechless and in awe of the baby in my arms for several minutes. Emma quickly jumped into her role as big sister and was in the bed holding and kissing her baby sister! Bryson wasn't too sure what to make of everything, no surprise to us! We couldn't have been happier to have our family of 5 healthy and together!!! I was so happy to get out of the bed and go to the bathroom and shower on my own as soon as Mom and Dad left with the kids. It was then that I reminded myself of why I didn't want to ask for drugs earlier. : ) We've enjoyed introducing our little Ava to more family and friends this past week. My grandmother came over this week and helped with the cooking, cleaning and kids; what a blessing and huge help!

I am about to go stir crazy right now though...I had to go to the bank earlier this week, so I took my girls while Bryson slept. I got out with Ben and Ava for her appt too. Today, I took all 3 to the bank--my first outing with 3!! We only did the drive through though!! : ) Don't know if I can physically carry Bryson and Ava quite yet. I was so worried about life with 3 so young by myself, but I'm so anxious to get out and do it on my own now; must be the hormones! I'm sure my first trip to WalMart will end with a treat for myself for enduring such stress. : )

Bryson has surprised us majorly; he LOVES our baby! We were afraid he'd be jealous and way too rough. Rough he is, but he hasn't seemed jealous. He even asks for his turn to hold her and is trying hard to be gentle. He loves patting her and giving her kisses. He and Emma both look for Ava as soon their eyes see daylight. They both run to check on her when they hear that sweet newborn cry. They both want to help change her diapers. It is just a great experience, and I am loving watching them all love so much!! I know we'll have our moments and days, but that is why I'm here with them.

Our house is almost finished, 2 or 3 weeks left. Moving is going to be hard since I'll be limited physically. I don't know how long I'll be able to take boxes and things without a place, but I'm trying to talk myself into taking things slowly. I know I'll have great help, too if I can "let go" some. : ) I love the house even though it's been very time consuming. Ben has done such a wonderful job with it as well as staying on top of people and his timeline. He constantly amazes me with his talents and vision! We are looking forward to settling in and raising our family there. It has been a huge blessing to be at Mom an Dad's while building, too! Life would have been miserable for us anywhere else as much time as Ben has spent there. It's been nice to take the kids to see him on those long days and very convenient with all the running back and forth Ben has done between work, working on the house and meeting people to go over or price things down there. A few more weeks for yet more transition...

Land of the Living

Granddaddy left us Wednesday afternoon to be with our Lord. It's has been a hard few days so far, but I am grateful he died before he got too miserable. The cancer had really been taking its toll quickly, and he was starting to have greater pain lately. Watching Grandmother lose the man she's spent the last 61 years with is most definitely one of the harder things I've done. I miss him terribly and really wanted him to be able to meet Ava, but I know those thoughts and feelings don't hold a candle to wondering how to force yourself out of bed to face days that will never again involve your lifelong companion. I know God's grace is sufficient, and I pray it is abundant for Grandmother in the coming days and years.
The Lord did bless us with a wonderful visit with him Monday. Mom and I headed over to Lancaster with the kids Monday afternoon. He was actually more like his old self than I've seen him in a long time. The kids went in to see him before I got in the living room, and I heard him speak to them by name (he actually never called them by the wrong name, which is more than I can say!), and they were just talking and playing. I was so happy to see him sitting up and so alert. We talked a lot, and his speech was clear. He wasn't dozing off like usual. We sat down in the kitchen to eat dinner before leaving, and he ate like he used to. We ate tomato sandwiches, definitely one of my favorites I've always enjoyed with him. The last things I saw him eat were a tomato sandwich and a Nutty Bar-I told Ben he would know I died happy if that were me. : )
We sang Emma's favorite Bible school song for him and talked about Ava and the house. He talked about leaving the service and the process of getting his job at Springs. He was bragging on the kids and told me I was a great mom. He shared cheese puffs with the kids, took Emma for a ride on his lap in his wheelchair. I truly could not have asked for a better last day with my Granddaddy. I'm just sad it was my last.
Despite the decline, pain and heartache the last 6 months, I still have some wonderful memories from those times. I have been so grateful to be at home so that I was available to help some and go to the hospital some. What a blessing for the kids to have time with him that we probably wouldn't have in "normal" circumstances. Terminal is definitely difficult, but it is good to know it's coming so you can soak up all the time you can knowing each time may be the last. Hopefully, we are living daily life that way since it is always coming; it's just hard to not get caught up in the busyness and forget how imminent our last days really are.

Forever Behind

Yes, I am forever behind...seems like that's true for everything these days! Guess I'll start with where we are for now and then see if I can recall some memories from the last 3 months. We closed on our house and moved into my parent's house June 4. It was a VERY hard move for me, which I expected...we brought our first two babies home there, and we put a lot of "sweat" into building it. Ended up being a lot harder for Ben to leave than he expected because of that. The first few weeks were pretty hard, but we are settled in and excited about the progress on our new home. We ended up at Mom and Dad's because of time and money. It has been a huge blessing to be right here at our lot because the reality of how much Ben's there instead of home is like expected. It's been nice to be able to run the kids down to see him and watch or "help" him some. It's also been wonderful to be able to work with Mom!! We've talked about how hard it's going to be to separate and get used to running households by ourselves again. : ) It just kind of works out as we maintain things and definitely takes less time. Of course, I feel like she is probably doing way more than her share! She promises me she enjoys it, and I am really grateful as I am VERY tired.
The kids are doing well and continue to bring us laughter, smiles and joy...and a few tears and frustration! : ) Emma is very excited about our new house and has many opinions to offer on all our decisions. I love showing her paint colors, light fixtures, etc. and asking what she thinks. She has really grown up a lot this Summer. She has worked hard to be a brave big girl as I've taken her to Summer Jam (kids' program at church)--the first thing she's been "left" to do by herself. She LOVED Bible School and constantly sings "Waves of Mercy, Waves of grace..." so much so that Bryson actually know it enough to "sing along" and do motions. I need to try to capture it on video. It is precious! She's also mostly conquered her fear of the swing--the first week we moved here, she kept begging to go swing and would force herself to have us push her higher (she used to be scared to death!). The other day when we were cooking in the kitchen together, she started telling me how she was going to get bigger so she could live by herself--how sad!! Of course, she rarely goes to sleep in her own bed these days and has developed quite the imagination and fearfulness, so I doubt that's a true longing. : ) She continues to love dress ups and is the most beautiful princess we've seen! Bryson is full speed ahead and rough and crazy! He's developing a desire to be silly and laughed at too, and he is quite funny, I must say! I am enjoying seeing him develop his own personality; he is definitely becoming a little person these days. His vocabulary continues to expand as well as his independence. He still doesn't sleep for any long stretch of time at night, but he has actually gone to bed with Emma several times, and last night, he awoke and walked to our bed without any tears or fears-a MAJOR miracle and first!! That is the first time since he was born that he has woken at night and not screamed and cried. Maybe we'll get there before Ava arrives!! He is still Momma's boy and hates to be taken to the nursery at church. I'm hoping he'll be happier when we move him to the toddler room in a month. He continues to love balls, being outside and playing with Emma. He wants so badly to do everything she does, and they have a great time playing together. She truly is a wonderful big sister and takes such good care of Bryson and tries to teach him how to do everything. I love seeing them love each other and play together, and I hope they will always love being together!
The house is coming along. Ben and his dad put in a lot of time and sweat getting the foundation ready. Ben never ceases to amaze me with his vision, ideas and capabilities! I don't ever want to build or move again, but hopefully we'll be able to do some projects around the property so he can keep showing off his skills! ; ) The first floor is framed, and they are working on the porches today. Unfortunately, we have some beams that aren't in and will hold up the framing a few days. Ben's telling me this roof system is going to be slow and involved. We are making progress with decisions. I am trying to stay ahead so we can do some price comparisons and so I can have as much done as possible before Ava comes.
I think I am 32 weeks now. I just can't keep up this time! All I know is that it is coming so fast! Everything is on track and appears normal. I'm down to 2 week check ups now. Trying hard not to let the weight go--it's so hard to eat well when you're tired and busy, but I know I don't want more to lose than necessary! I am worn out these days; the 3rd trimester hasn't brought so much fatigue in the past, but it's kicking me this time! Between Bryson, discomfort and frequent potty visits, I'm not getting a whole lot of sleep at night either though. I could not ask for more out of life though. I am way more blessed than I should be, and I am grateful for all the joys and "trials".
Now, back to the prior 3 months...in May, the 4 of us packed up and headed to Surfside for a week-end. Weren't planning to because of how busy things were with trying to move, close and start building, but then we decided we just couldn't not go...life was in desperate need of a beach trip. It was wonderful!! Ben and I were asleep with the kids by 9:30 both nights and had perfect weather and time on the beach together. Emma and Bryson loved the sand but were a little uneasy of the water, so that made life somewhat low maintenance. We enjoyed dinner on the beachfront at RiverCity Cafe one night. Bryson randomly said bird for the first time sitting out there watching all the birds! We headed over to Family Kingdom to take Emma on the carousel and ended up with an evening full of rides and fun! She was so brave, and it was so fun to watch her sheer joy at the experience! We all enjoyed the train and carousel, and poor Bryson wanted to do everything with her! Next year maybe! Daddy treated us to funnel cake and lemonade on our way out, too!! : ) Emma started her Summer swimming (alone with swimmies) in the pool with Daddy too, and has done great ever since!! Really was a much needed family getaway with great memories!
Went home to a whirlwind of packing, moving and building, and it hasn't slowed down since! We headed back down to Garden City for our annual week long trip the last week of June. That was wonderful too! We were at a different house this year which was different. : ) Enjoyed our time nonetheless. The kids enjoyed having Evans (my cousin's 3 month old) with us too! Bryson was much more fearless with the ocean, so we had a little more work cut out with him. It was a nice, low key week, but I was still very tired! Lots of sun, sand, and water all week!
Unfortunately, we had to make the trip without my grandparents this year. Granddaddy was diagnosed with lung cancer earlier this year, and it has really taken its toll on his body. He's been in and out of the hospital several times and has gotten much weaker. It's been very hard to watch especially since he went from plowing his own garden to barely walking on his own in a matter of months. I know it's most difficult on Dad and Grandmother--nothing like watching the most important man in your life decline in health and physical stature. I know they are worn out too, emotionally and physically. The end of life is not a pretty thing, but I am so grateful for the hope we have in Jesus, and I know I'll see my strong and happy Granddaddy once again!
We went out to the Howell's for our annual 4th of July celebration after the beach. Great fun, food and time with family! Poor Ben didn't have the best badminton partner this year, but we did well despite my handicap! : ) Emma had lots of fun playing with Matthew and Mikayla, and, as always, we enjoyed catching up and being with them!
DJ hit the big 3-0 Monday! Eli and I went to her house Friday night to celebrate and hang out with her. We had a wonderful time talking and being together! Didn't get home until 3, which wasn't so helpful in my tired state, but it was well worth it! : ) Mrs. Kimbrell isn't doing well either and is likely headed to Cleveland for heart surgery in the near future. Hopefully she'll hear very encouraging news at her appointment this afternoon.
I'm sure I'll probably get behind on posts again, especially since we'll be adding to the family in the next 2 months!! We can't wait to meet and hold our little Ava!!! I will try to post pictures later.

First Baby Pictures!!

We found out today we're having a baby girl! We were all excited to see our baby growing healthy and on track. Our EDD for meeting Ava Noel is September 20, and we are all eager to meet her! : ) I posted some ultrasound pics of our beautiful little girl for those who are interested...

Also, for those who don't know, we have a contract on our house and are scheduled to close on or before June 4! We got our house plans yesterday, and are hoping to get the permitting process rolling next week! Please pray for us if the Lord puts us on your heart...that we would find a rental place close by since we'll be at the "construction site" a lot and that the building process would be smooth and quick. I know we can't make it in before our due date, but I am hoping to be in for the Christmas season!

Winter Update

I seem to be getting worse at writing about life around here again! I really need to write as I think my memory fades daily, don't know if that's just me, the hormones, or the sleep deprivation at work! Ahh...Where to start?? I just went back to see that I didn't even write about Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year!
So...Christmas was wonderful as always! It was Bryson's first, and he was a great age-curious and intrigued but fairly slow to get around. He didn't bother the tree too much...I did find him crawling under it and sitting up in the limbs a few times, what joy to be "in the woods"! : ) Oh! Our tree fell this year! So ironic, I was telling Ben how some friends anchored theirs bc of little ones at home a while back, but that I was hopeful ours wouldn't be pulling on it...then, CRASH!! came our beautiful tree one evening a couple of days after putting it up, and we had to anchor it to the wall. Thankfully, I think it was a tree issue rather than a child issue. We had a great time celebrating the wonderful season with our nightly family advent devotions. The Christmas songs were definitely Emma's and Bryson's favorite part--precious to hear Em's sweet voice, and our little man faithfully beat on the table keeping rhythm each night. : ) Had a great time at Christmas parties. Christmas Eve, we did our birthday party for Jesus before heading to the service at church. Then we headed home for the kids to open their Christmas pajamas and put out cookies and milk for Santa before heading back out for dinner with the family. Christmas morning was great fun! Emma was a little disappointed at first seeing that the cookies and milk were gone as well as was Santa...her response, "But, I wanted to see him!" It took a minute to get past that and even notice her gifts! At least she's more interested in people than gifts! : ) Bryson didn't know what was going on but loved Emma's balls and the puffs from his stocking. He actually did pretty well opening presents; he does love to tear paper!
Soon after, we celebrated Emma's 3rd birthday! That is hard to believe and so very bittersweet. She had a great time with her 3 parties...one with our little family of 4, a beach party with her little buds, and then a big family party. She was all about her 3 parties bc she was 3; hopefully, she doesn't expect that trend to keep up! We do love our precious girl and are grateful for every day and year of life we are blessed with her in our lives! She continues to amaze me and bring unimaginable joy to my heart! I really need to get a new digital camera with a little video option so I can share her talking. Her body language cracks me up! She is soooo expressive, and it is funny to see her imitations of me and others come through as she talks. I often think, "do I really say that?" or "do I really move like that?"...and, then I usually catch myself later. : ) Some favorite "Emma-isms" these days: park for part, smark for smart, bamb-aid, wipe for white, hanitizer for hand sanitizer...all I can think of for now. She is getting so good at riding her bike, and I can't keep up with her anymore. Thankfully, she's obedient and doesn't get too far away. She continues to grow in independence, which is mostly a huge blessing! Of course, there are times it causes friction or hideous outfits, but that's life. She is pumped about another baby and insists she is going to have a sister this time. She loves my already expanding belly and just tried lifting my shirt in the grocery store today, saying, "I want to see your baby"...how nice! At least a few people knew I was expecting instead of clinging to the post Bryson weight. : )
Bryson is quite attached to Mommy still and still not sleeping well. But, he is full of life, smiles and joy, and I wouldn't trade my independence or sleep for one moment of life with my little man! He is somewhat destructive, stubborn and into everything! He loves to eat and nurse, loves balls, and loves being outside! Momma and ball are the only 2 words he's said as of now though he babbles like crazy trying to tell us all about everything. He has become infatuated with Tanner these days and still loves to play with Emma! It is funny to watch him take shots back at her now when he realizes she's purposely being mean. Oh...the joys of trying to parent "correctly" through the "fights" coming. That is not something I look forward to, and I am praying they will be minimal.
So, I don't know when I first started working on this post, but it is now April 13. Not a whole lot has changed...Bryson turned 1 on April 2. It was a super busy week-end bc of Easter, but he seemed to have a great time! Just the four of us celebrated with him at home for dinner on his birthday. He LOVED his cupcake and the singing! We had the family over Sunday for Easter lunch and birthday celebration. He loved his cake...I made him a b'ball cake bc that does seem to be his passion these days. Of course, he wasn't too sure what to do about the candle, but Emma and Will gladly assisted! : ) He loved his presents and playing in the yard and with an egg as Emma and Will hunted eggs. He's added the word dog to his vocab since I last wrote as well. He's trying hard to walk, and took 7 steps on his own last night!! He's done 5 steps today...shouldn't be long! Only reason I'm eager is bc of his love for the outdoors. I can't stand watching him move on the driveway on those knees!
We did have a couple of snows this winter. The only "real" one I saw from the bedroom window. I had another stomach bug!!! 2 stomach bugs in the first 9 weeks of pregnancy along with pregnancy vomit has done me in! : ) Thankfully, all sickness seem to be gone.
The pregnancy is going well. I'm 16 or 17 weeks along and really showing! We had a big scare with some bleeding, but thankfully, it was only a scare. It finally completely cleared up after several weeks. Because of all that, I was really thankful for sickness; it gave me a little more peace of mind that all was well. We finally heard the heartbeat a few weeks ago, and we go for an ultrasound at the end of the month.
Hopefully, I'll get to posting some pics up in the near future for any of you who don't see my whole life on my sisters' facebook page. : )

Moving Forward...

We are moving forward these days with a B word that I do wish I could say was "buyer". However, our house is not sold...
The B word around here is now BABY!! If you're shocked to read that, know that you're in good company! : ) It is actually Saturday when I am typing this, and I am not sure what day I will actually be ready to post this. We are definitely excited since the initial shock and list of worries and "how are we gonnas" have worn off!
We actually are in process of the ugly B word..stomach "Bug" as well. I feel like that accompanies most of our bigger moments the last few years. Bryson has had it this week, and I was hit last night. Praying it will stop there!
Of course, the Lord's timing is way different than ours, and we are not quite sure what he has in store for us. We are still trying to sell the house and talked to a realtor this week who does FSBO listings, basically a co-broker deal. We are trying to decide which kind of advertising to invest in at this point. The business is still in economic crisis recovery, but we feel like there's light ahead. It's just the trusting of the Lord's provision in steady work. We are definitely more eager to move on with the building process with the news of baby #3, but we continue to wait on the Lord's timing there as well. That is our update in a nutshell...feel free to read on if you enjoy my rambling details of our news. ; )
As for the details of our realizing we are now pregnant, they are quite amusing to us now and probably very amusing to some of you. Several things have come together since I finally took a home test. For starters, I've been debating going to have my thyroid checked out bc I've been so exhausted lately; I chalked it up to Bryson STILL not sleeping through the night and nursing around the clock most of the time. Now I'm glad I didn't blow money on that dr. visit! Then I started thinking my mid-cycle "symptoms" hadn't happened; thought, how nice, maybe my hormones are finally leveling out. Last weekend I noticed other details that are definitely TMI for the ol' blog...that got me worried and thinking. To top it all off, I sent an e-mail to my dear friend Sandi who's been predicting this since she found out her surprise pregnancy about this time last year (We both have girls born in January, then boys in April...when she found out her third was due the fall after her second turned 1, she started then...of course, I NEVER thought that would be true!). Anyway, I joked with her about not following suit on the third child since Bryson was nowhere near weaning; the night I got her response to my e-mail with her joking about the pregnant "glow", I really started putting things together and started to worry. I was really dealing physically with anxiety at the thought. It was, holy cow, not now...Bryson's only 9 months old, I'll have 3 3 and under, my body is finally getting back to normal, we still aren't sleeping through the night, I won't be able to go on walks (only have a double-wide stroller!), I'll be nursing for over 2 years straight, we can't go to Denver (Ben and I were hopeful to plan a Denver trip in the fall), how do I tell the dear people in my life who are struggling having babies, people are going to look at me like I have lost my mind, we haven't even sold or started to build, money's already tight...you know, the list just goes on and on when you allow Satan a foothold. Anyway, I finally thought, "what in the world! It's a baby; I LOVE babies! I can't believe God is blessing us again...who am I that He is mindful of me?!" Then, the thoughts started...now I've been thinking this way, I might be sad if I find out I'm not pregnant. I forced myself out to one of our MANY ventures to WalMart (for those who don't know, they opened a new one 2.3 miles from my driveway in August!!!!) thinking, "okay, I'll throw in a test with a bunch of junk I need to get, no big deal". I admit, I was so embarrased to be buying a test with a 3 year old and 9 month old in my buggy, don't know why, but I was...but, it gets better. Apparently those things are hot items or something bc they are in lock boxes that you have to take to the register where they unlock the box and get your test out! There's no throwing those in the mix subtly anymore! I was just grateful the process didn't involve anyone I know! So, I got home debating when to take it, had to pee, and figured, why not now?? Test was positive; I was overwhelmed and went on to play with Emma trying to figure out how to tell Ben. He had to run by the house for keys, saw the box out with the recycle stuff, and said, "Oh, you took one, so how did that go?" He really wasn't prepared for my response either...We are both very excited now as is Emma, and we are prayerful that this new little miracle grows healthy and strong! Now it's on to the spiritual warfare of worry that something will happen to our little surprise miracle! If the Lord puts us on your heart, please pray for His continued peace for us and that our eyes will remain on Him, rather than the cares of this world and our plans. We trust His good and perfect will as well as His timing, and we know He has our best interest at heart! We are ever grateful for yet another blessing from Him!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I cannot believe another year is coming to a close! Ours was wonderful, and filled with more blessings than we could ever imagine! We started the year with Emma turning two and then our Gatlinburg trip, added baby #2 a few hours before Good Friday, passed around a stomach bug, Ben killed a turkey, went to the beach in May, celebrated 6 years of marriage, and went to the beach again in June. The last six months were just as wonderful...started with Bryson's baptism, DJ's wedding, my 30th bday, Ben's 31st, buying 3 + acres, another beach trip, another stomach bug, fall festival with our princess and penguin, and concluded with Thanksgiving and Christmas! If you are able to keep up with my poorly updated blog, you've seen and heard plenty about these events and more, but that sums it up event wise.
It is always an amazing, humbling, bewildering task to reflect on a year and see what the Lord has done in and for us. He has surely blessed us and taught us innumerable ways through the 2 precious children He's entrusted to our care. Emma will turn 3 in 9 days, and Bryson will hit 9 months in 5 days. I can't believe how quickly they grow; it is truly bittersweet. My heart is flooded with love for them and joy with each breath they take. As exhausted as I feel most nights, I always want one more hug, one more peek, or a little more time talking and praying. I just adore life with them! Children are, indeed, a blessing from the Lord, and I cannot thank Him enough for His blessing.
Emma has grown tons this year...mostly cognitively as she seems to be taking after her mom physically : ) ! As I was trying to pick through pictures for a slide show of our year, I had to watch the videos of her, and I couldn't believe my eyes and ears! Early childhood is a booming time, no doubt! Her vocabulary has definitely broadened, and she makes us smile almost daily with some new word or phrase. I think the most fun is watching her body language develop. Boy, is she expressive! Unfortunately, our small digital camera w/ video broke several months ago, so I can't post any mini-videos, but we definitely get a kick out of watching her talk! She loves just about anything from princesses to cars and trucks and is big into the imagination these days. She is obsessed with helicopters, so it's nice that the hospital has a added a unit at the airport one street over. Her other obsession is the beach, and I would venture to say she gets that honestly. : ) Just the other day we were laying in her bed talking and she randomly asked me if we could go to the beach...don't I wish!! She's a great big sister and a great helper, she loves to cook, loves to write, loves to play, loves to be with her friends, loves to dress up, loves to sing, loves to eat, loves to get into everything, loves to climb, loves to explore, and loves to get her way. ; )
Bryson has, of course, grown immensely too his first 9 months of life! He's into everything just like Emma was and seems like he'll be a climber, too. He might even escape the crib earlier than she did...I've already seen him try to get out, and he can't even walk! He does crawl over everything, pulls up, and is in the beginnings of cruising. Sometimes he gets to jabbering and seems to be developing some language, but he's definitely more quiet right now and is more into sounds. He made his first truck noise while playing with a truck in the kitchen while I cooked last week; melted Mommy! He LOVES Mommy, especially when he's tired! He's still nursing around the clock even with solids. Some nights I wish he were as paci-obsessed as Emma was! He is pretty easy going for the most part. Just not with sleep; he seems to have a passionate hatred for his crib! His fourth tooth finally broke through, so he's got the top two and bottom two now. He just finished meds for his first ear infection, but he's been really healthy so far. Hopefully, the winter won't be too harsh on him. He smiles and claps all the time, and it is the sweetest sight! He loves anything and everything right now too, but his favorite thing to do is crawl to Emma's room and play in her kitchen; it's great for pulling up, and he loves to eat the food! He does seem to tend toward the trucks and balls more often, but most toys serve the same purpose for now...teething and tasting! : ) He tries to sneak away when he can and climb the stairs, unroll the t.p., and get Emma's drinks. Poor thing, we just won't let him have any fun!!
Ben's doing well. Not too much change over the year, at our age. ; ) He's still working hard to provide for us...and doing a great job! Business has been tough this year, but the Lord continues to provide as He has promised. We're down to he and his brother, Judah and are trying to build things back up financially. They have been busy here lately and will hopefully continue that way; winter is not so good typically. He is back on the deacon board rotation for 3 years again and is coaching the senior boys basketball team again as well.
I am doing well also, a little sleep deprived, but that will pass before I know it! I am still a homemaker and love it! I would love to find something to do at home to make a little extra $ to help out, but I would hate to have to do anything that would take me away from my 2 miracles. : ) I'm still doing our refresh group on Thursday mornings, as well as an accountability group w/ a couple of dear friends about 2-3 xs a month.
We're still helping out with the high school kids and love them! It's sometimes a little hard with the family, but we'll keep on until we feel called otherwise. Emma loves the big kids and is excited to go on nights my parents can't keep them. On of the college girls has started keeping them along with 2 others some too. Of course, we're still doing several other ministries and staying involved with church. It just seems like a constant struggle to balance family, church, and Ben's hobbies. The kids are only with us a short while, and we KNOW we're called to them, so I don't want to shortchange them or have them grow up thinking that busyness is a good thing.
Anyway, that is the Howell summary for 2009! Hopefully, I'll post more soon. I hope all is well with your family! Enjoy the pics...

Just some pics of life since Thanksgiving (from bottom up)...
*getting our tree ready and decorating
*my two babies in the crib playing- Emma loves to climb in, and they LOVE wrestling in there!
*Emma writing her name for the first time- Dec. 1, I was cooking dinner and told her to go write her name on her chalkboard...I was shocked when she called me in to see it! We've worked on it at random, but I had never seen her do it on her own. I heard her in there saying, "circle, then a stick", etc...yes, I was beaming!
I do have to say, however, the first word she verbally spelled was C-L-E-M-S-O-N!! Still working on the m and the 2 humps, but we're very proud of her!
*Rock Hill Christmas parade- I didn't get any good pics of the parade. It was dark, COLD, and anything's hard to do with Bryson in tow! :)
*Top pictures are of Emma, Linnea and Jonathan making a Gingerbread house Monday. What a fun, interesting, rigged process!! : )
We had our Christmas party last Friday, which was a great night of fellowship and food with our adult friends! Then, we had our Boyd Hill party with the youth Sunday, which was great too; it is definitely my favorite outreach event, and I would love to do more with that neighborhood. Then, this past Thursday, Fran Cope had our Refresh group over for a brunch...so fun! We had some babysitters downstairs, so we got to have complete conversations for a change! : )
Hopefully, I'll get a "Christmas letter" type post on here soon...stay tuned!! :)

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was wonderful as usual! That morning, Ben and Emma went over to see his granddad while Bryson was napping, and I was cooking. We headed to Lancaster to my grandparents' house for lunch at 1...enjoyed a great meal, some got naps, some played outside, some just talked, and then we had the usual family photo shoot. : ) Ben's parents went to Georgia to be with family down there, so we didn't get to enjoy gluttony at its worst: 2 Thanksgiving dinners in one day! : )
I had to include a picture of Kent and his girlfriend Meghan bc I wasn't sure I had any pictures of her yet. We do love her, and Emma LOVES going to her house!
We wanted to head to the Boone area to cut a tree down this year, but Bryson already had a cold, and it was supposed to be rainy/snowy and 20-30 mph sustained winds...maybe one of these years it will work out! I am compulsive and love tradition, so we have to get all decorated Thanksgiving week-end. I like to have all the decorating and shopping done by then if possible so we can just enjoy the advent season. Unfortunately, we haven't been sure about finances this year, so I actually still have a couple of things left to get. I am trying to just do it as I can and not allow the crowds, time and traffic take over the meaning of the season and giving. Emma has enjoyed our advent devotions--especially blowing out the candles and singing. : ) Bryson bangs on the table keeping beat as we sing. : ) We look forward to many years of sharing that time, especially as they get older.

So here are a few slide shows of pics to go with my updates posts...

"My Best Friend's Wedding"

Clemson football 2009...only took my camera for a couple of games. It's getting to be too difficult since I have a huge SLR (our small one broke), and I don't often have free hands. You can see we had lots of fun, and Emma was intense taking everything in...from the balloons to the crowd cheers!

Lastly, pics from our amazingly wonderful beach trip with friends last month. Good times and great memories!

Always Catching Up...

Well, I'm just now getting to actually post the posts I wrote 3 1/2 weeks ago. I got interrupted and thought I'd get back to add pictures, and, well, here I am 3 weeks later, no pics!

Anyway, of course, the time lapse includes more of life, so here's another attempt to updating!

The Fall Festival at church was great as usual! Emma played her heart out and was the most beautiful princess I've ever seen! Bryson didn't do a whole lot more than take a nap. He was certainly the most precious sleeping penguin! : )

The house is not sold. We thought we had a buyer...came and looked, brought his family back that night, was so excited about it. It somehow fell through, though. A little disappointing, but I am thrilled to be in my home for Christmas and Emma's birthday! We haven't done much to advertise other than a sign in the yard and at the neighborhood entrance. We decided to wait until after the holidays to put any expense into advertising since now is not generally a time people are looking anyway. We'll give it a few months on our own after the new year and then talk to a realtor if it's not sold by then. We're not in a pinch, but we are itching to build and move. For now, we are thinking through and writing down details hoping to help make the process fairly quick. Plus, there were lots of things I/we had to make split second decisions on last time, and I do not want that again.

Sadly, since I last wrote, we got the wonderful news that my sister was expecting baby number 2...and then last week that the precious little miracle went to Heaven early. Mary Matheson went to the doctor last Monday for a check up, and they could not find the heartbeat. They are diong well, and Will says they'll get a new one. The kids and I went down last Tuesday morning and spent the day with them. We headed home after I cooked them dinner and Rick got home. It was so wonderful to spend time together despite the sadness of losing the baby. MM is quite the trooper, and I really admire how firm her faith remains as she trusts in God's plan so completely. I hope that my faith remains as strong during trials!

The whole family loaded up in 2 vehicles Saturday to head down to Clemson for the last home game of 2009...and our victory put us in the ACC championship game in Tampa against Ga Tech! (I think technically the BC game put us there, but it was nice to know our win got us there either way!) It was finally a beautiful day, and we all enjoyed it--I think I can say that for Ben too. He was very gracious to go with us. It's just hard to be fun for me when I have both kids on a trip like that. My back has been killing me a lot lately too, so it was nice to not have Bryson strapped to me the majority of the day--nice not to have to make potty trips like that too! ; )

As a result of all the football action and cheering, our little man has now got the clapping thing down! : ) He "mastered" it yesterday after working so hard to figure it out since the game Saturday and is so proud of himself! It is the cutest thing! He even woke up around 4 this morning (yes, still in our bed most of the night) and sat up babbling and clapping, with a few squeals about the claps! How cute. I have a cold or allergies or something, so I wasn't getting much sleep, so at least I got some sweet entertainment to lighten the load. : ) Since I'm writing of Bryson's accomplishments, I should add that he is working so hard on pulling up on things too. He was really getting the hang of it tonight; he wants to go so badly! Actually, as he was screaming at me for putting him to bed tonight, he was working on it too...after a while, I went down the hall to check on him and found him sitting up with his legs through the rails. Resituated and layed him down again, and the screaming resumed...another while later I found him pulled up almost completely to a standing position! : ) He is sleeping a little better, but he never makes it past midnight. I bring him to my bed to nurse him and fall asleep. Several nights in the last few weeks, he's slept until 4 or 5 then, nursed again, then gone back to sleep. Those nights, I LOVE...it's the others that are spend very restless or with several times nursing that just wear me out. I don't know why he's like that at night. Well, really, he's like that any time he's sleeping. He just wakes up screaming. Our attempts at letting him "cry it out" have not been successful. I'm not a fan of that to start with bc I want my kids to feel security more than anything this first year of life. We have tried it at different times when it truly seemed that nothing was bothering him, and he was just mad. The longest we've made it was 20-30 minutes, but to no avail. He gets so worked up he can hardly breathe, then it takes forever to get him settled down, Emma often wakes up when he cries (she doesn't seem to be doing that lately though), and then the majority of the house is up. Just seems pointless and cruel. I keep praying he'll work through it. I just can't figure out why he always wakes up crying. I seriously don't know that he's woken happy more than 5 times in his little lifetime--naps and nighttime.
Emma continues to grow. She seems to be getting past the separation anxiety thing, thankfully. She loves to be Mommy and for me to be her, and she seems to get more and more independent daily. She is a great helper and loves to tend to Bryson and help me in the kitchen. She's great about knowing what he can eat...I was worried she might start giving him food once we started solids, but she only gives him what she's seen us giving him. The biggest problem is her eating his food. : ) She has actually even changed a few diapers herself. For a while, she was bad about stripping and changing him while I was in the shower. She did a good job most of the time though. : ) It's so fun to have conversations with her and see her personality and individuality coming out more now. Her favorite food is PopTarts, favorite color is blue, favorite sport is "Clemson Tigers". She is so expressive when she talks; I love to watch her eyes and body language! She says "disgusting" a lot right now. : )
I hit the big 3-0 in September. : ( My sweet friends threw me a surprise party and had all my favorite things...rainbow sherbert, coke, and reeses...and Steph's amazing chocolate and peanut butter pie! It is a bit depressing to cross into another decade, but I am truly thankful for so many wonderful years of life and blessings! I guess the depressing part is really more of how quickly it's flying!
Business is very back and forth. It's down to just Ben and Judah. Some weeks are very full with very little time with Ben once he works all day and then does "office work" at night. Then there are weeks where we are going day to day piecing together work and not getting many hours. Hopefully things will really pick up steadily after Christmas! It's so hard to not get overwhelmed, but it is surely good for testing our faith. We know the Lord is our provider; we just have to live that out!
We're gearing up for the holidays and looking forward to some great times with family as we celebrate Thanksgiving in a couple of days! Hopefully I'll get some pictures on here tonight or tomorrow!

Here are some pictures...mostly just random. Some highlights include Bryson's first taste of solids...a banana! Emma was so excited she didn't wait; I was talking about giving her some and found her with a banana peeled trying to feed him on the floor! Another is Emma asleep 1/2 way in bed...I seriously found her asleep looking like she was climbing out of bed. There are some of Bryson when he was first working on the real crawling thing, one of Ben's b'day dinner, and then some of our first turkey deep frying attempt.

The turkey was for a Thanksgiving dinner we had with our small group from church last week. The turkey turned out great, and the feast was WONDERFUL---food and company! Since it was raining, Ben had to borrow Dad's tent, so I of course had to have pictures of him sitting under a Clemson tent in the backyard! Emma was real pumped about that! : )

Kid Update

Bryson has, of course, changed immensely since August! He's been sitting on his own for a good while and started some army crawling and rocking on all fours at the end of September. Last week he learned how to sit himself up on his own and has been doing a little "real" crawling as well. We're definitely at the strange stage of all of a sudden not seeing your baby where you left him. : ) He babbles lots, is about 17 1/2 pounds, and loves his Mommy. He does say "Mama" a lot and sometimes seems to make the coorelation, but I don't think it's quite purposeful yet. Both front bottom teeth have broken through. One did a few weeks ago, the other did this week. They have been a booger for him, and I think that is what has given us many screaming, near sleepless nights. "This too shall pass!" Not getting much sleep still, but he had a few good nights this week, so maybe we're moving forward. : )

Emma is quite the social girl. She loves to know everyone's business and prays for EVERYONE most nights. Of course, as she prays for family and friends, she turns to me and has to inquire as to what they're doing and whether they're sick or not. SHe is always excited to go places and see people. Unfortunately, she's also in a major separation anxiety period. We're doing a lot of role play and talking about things ahead of time. She tries so hard to be a "big girl" and not cry, too. Hopefully we'll be out of it soon so Mommy can get a little space. I'm trying to just enjoy the fact that she wants to be with me and hope she doesn't one day want to be away from me all the time. : (

I think I've reached my limit at the computer and don't have enough clarity of mind to think about anything else for now. I think that comes with lack of sleep. : ) Oh, I love them to death and am enjoying life whether I can remember much of it or not. ; ) It's off to church tomorrow evening for our fall carnival with my little princess and penguin. : )

Forever Behind

10 weeks of life have passed since I last got to write. Crazy how much has happened since then. DJ got married. We've been to 3 Clemson games--rained EVERY time! We went to Bonclarken with the high school group from church. We went to the beach with some friends. We put our house on the market. We bought a lot at the other end of the street. Our past 10 weeks in a nutshell. Hopefully, my time to sit and reflect will allow me to give further detail, but we'll see...

The week of DJ's wedding was incredibly busy, but it was great and a great honor to be a part of this milestone in her life! I must say the timing was difficult for me with Bryson being just under 5 months. He also hit a growth spurt that week-end, so I was having to get to him or have him brought to me every 2 hours or so. Thankfully, he took a bottle once or twice in there. The wedding was beautiful as was the weather, and it was great to see lots of friends!

Clemson games have been hard but worth it. 2 kids, a full day, and rain = exhaustion. Ben's made it to one with us. Emma is quite the fanatic these days and can just about spell Clemson Tigers now. She usually leaves about 3 or 4 letters out of the cheer. She loves to "play Clemson Tigers"...she runs, jumps, falls, etc. and we sit or stand nearby and do Clemson cheers. Not Ben's favorite thing. : ) It is funny bc she insists he do the actual Clemson cheers, nothing generic. : )

The last week-end in September we pulled the trailer and went to Bonclarken with the high school kids. Lou Ann bought a house about 1 minute away and so graciously let us stay there for the week-end. It was wonderful! We got to be with the high school kids a good bit but not be on a schedule that was murderous for the kiddos.

The next week-end we went down to Garden City Beach with 4 other families. 9 kids from Thursday-Sunday. Fun stuff! The kids did great together, and it was a wonderful time with friends. Nothing is closer to Heaven for me than the beach, so I am always grateful to be there! I think I have to ward off depression for longer periods every time I have to leave it. The house was great and had a hot tub and a heated pool. We only used the pool once, which surprised me. But I did get in the hot tub two of the three nights. It was perfect weather, so we spent most of our time on the beach. I had a great time hanging out at night, but most of us had to force ourselves to stay awake. : ) We got to see a shark on the beach Sunday morning before we left, and Emma still talks about it! She and her friend Linnea were so excited to see and touch a real shark. Their parents thought it was pretty cool too.

Side note--Emma is supposed to be in bed, but is in my bathroom singing Jingle Bells! Girl after my heart! The only miserable part is that I can't get more than 5 minutes to myself in this house.

Finally, the big news in our lives is putting our house on the market and buying a lot down the road. It has been so neat yet a little stressful watching the Lord's hand move in this process. Way earlier in the year, we talked to the owner of land in a culd-e-sac at the other end of the neighborhood. She's pretty old and not totally in her right mind. She was going to sell us just over 3 acres of it. In the back and forth process with the land surveyor, her and the county, we found out it couldn't be subdivided (~9 acres) unless the road was extended. We had been praying for the Lord's direction as we were moving ahead hard since it is like my dream place to be in Rock Hill. We took the news from the county as a clear cut closed door from the Lord even though I was a little disappointed. Well, several months later, the week-end of DJ's wedding, our neighbor who sells land put up for sale signs. I was so eager to jump on it but couldn't bc of the busyness of the wedding events. I began to pray about it, asking the Lord for it as well as guidance as to a "doable" price (the first time around as doors closed, Ben said he really wasn't comfortable paying what she was asking anyway). I felt the Lord leading me to an amount (I hate saying that bc it's so hard to understand that when people say it, but it really did feel like he was just putting the number in my mind as I prayed). Almost a week later, Ben called our neighbor to see it and talk about it, and we prayed for guidance. I then told Ben the amount I felt the Lord had "given" me as I had been praying. I was a little scared to say it aloud bc I knew that really bound me, and if the price was higher, I would have to let it go...you know how sometimes you struggle to share convictions bc of the accountability and reality of it. Anyway, he walked the property with him, told him we were definitely interested in 3 acres (advertised to be subdivided),our neighbor told him what he was asking for it, but that he would sell it for the exact amount we had already been given from the Lord...w/o Ben asking to negotiate or anything. They shook on it right there, and we got busy on the process! I have been humbled and amazed by how specific the Lord was in the process! The additional amazing details...we bought it for $30K less than what she asked a few months prior. And, the county works with our neighbor so much that he worked them into allowing it to be subdivided! Isn't it amazing how the Lord protects us!?!? We also qualified for a 90% loan instead of 80%, and we received a "note" for the down payment for 90 days. So basically, the Lord gave us this HUGE gift at very minimal cost. We closed this past Monday and became the owners of 3.2 acres down the road. We went down and walked it and talked about some things on our way home and then prayed and thanked God for this amazing gift and asked Him to bless it for our family and His. What an exciting and humbling day and process! We are so eager to build, but we can't get started until we sell our house. We have it up for sale by owner now and look forward to hopefully selling it soon. I am having a bit of a hard time fighting the anxiety of moving and renting and moving again, but I have seen the Lord's hand, so I will continue to give the praise and control. I think we've decided on a house plan that we can make minor changes to and be extremely happy with. We were back and forth on having plans drawn, but it's a huge expense. I had to really pray hard about it and get back to looking on-line. I felt like we'd seen everything, and I really just wanted to draw up our own. After praying about it though, the Lord opened my eyes to looking in a different light, and I found a great plan that we both like and can adapt it without having to pay big bucks.

Obsessive

I know I'm way behind, and if you care about order, the first post this round is Family Vacation.

I am obsessed with taking pictures of my precious little ones sometimes, and have had some photo shoots trying to get that perfect shot. Of course, I fall in love with all of them bc they capture something about my children that I love. The top pictures are some of my favorites for those who don't care to look at ALL of them!

I do LOVE being a mom and thank my God for the blessing they are in my life. My world has been turned upside down, and I wouldn't want it any other way. It's hard to figure out who I am sometimes or what I want because I can't think past them. I know that sounds unhealthy, and it probably is somewhat, but I do make myself do other things sometimes. So, being a homemaker is definitely my dream job, and I am so grateful for a husband who works so hard to make that a reality! I think I would sink into a deep depression if I had to leave them daily. It would feel like I was putting my heart in someone else's hands. Yes, I do get out with my husband, and I do try to make my relationship with him priority (after the Lord, of course!). We just don't have tons of pictures of us, and no one would probably be interested in reading about us...Though, we have had some very enjoyable date nights the last couple of months. One night Kent and Meghan kept the kids, we had a steak dinner at home and then went to play tennis. A couple of times after dinner, we headed out to Glencarn Gardens to sit and swing by the ponds. I cherish those times away with Ben for sure.

So really, I love my whole family and couldn't be happier than when I am graced with their presence, altogether or individually. Parenthood and marriage are definite teaching tools for the walk of a Christian. So much of our need for God and his grace becomes more and more visible. And our selfishness becomes more and more evident; we learn some of what it means to sacrifice and hopefully then strive to put it into practice more and more daily. I am enjoying learning about His plan for the greater family, His body of believers, as I see the parallels in my little fam. As I grow, I am overwhelmed with the depth and complexity of his love, sacrifice and plan for us.

By the way, Bryson will be 5 months old Sept. 2! Isn't that crazy...even crazier is that very soon after I'll be 30!! Ugh!!!! : ) At his 4 month check up, he was 15 lbs 12 oz and 25 1/2 inches. Height and weight are in the 75th percentile, head is in the 25th percentile. Most everyone says he's looking more like Emma every day, and I'm starting to hear that he looks like me too. We'll see...they both change so much all the time, and I think they're both a pretty good mix. Bryson seems like he's going to have the darker hair and blue eyes, which is probably why people say he looks like me. All I know is they are both gorgeous and unique to me! I know I am biased, but I just don't think it gets much cuter! : )

Travel with 2

We finally made the trip down to Georgia to introduce Bryson to Grandmama, Mr. Howell's mom. Bryson's middle name, James, is after his Papa who went to be with the Lord a few years ago. Emma had a great time with her, and Bryson talked more than we'd heard before while there! We spent the nights with Michael and Heather, and Emma loved being with her cousins and Mikayla's cats! Unfortunately, we never remembered to get the camera out while they were playing. They are moving, so we got to go with them to take a look at the house which was great fun too. Put more of an itch in Ben to try to flip houses and/or build again, I think. Only bad thing about the trip was the travel. Emma did pretty well the majority of the time. Bryson went ballistic for the last part going and coming. 5 hours in a car seat was too much for him! We even had a couple of stops, but that just wasn't enough. Oh well, we survived it! : )

Go Tigers!!

Getting ready for football season!! Dad got Emma this PRECIOUS little Clemson outfit, and I couldn't get it off of her once we tried it on to be sure it fit. She loves doing Clemson cheers at random, and every now in then adds in a new letter. She has a "friend" at Mom and Dad's. It's a tiger...go figure! : ) Not sure how many games I'll brave with 2, but we'll be sad when we're not there!