Emma's first day of school

Emma had a GREAT first day of school! I was in my closet trying to get dressed when she walked in at 6:15ish. She was asking what I was doing and why...then, through her half opened eyes, she said, "Is it morning yet?" It was so sweet. I convinced her to snuggle up in my chair with me while I dried my hair so she could get some more rest. I loved those 25 minutes and was wishing like crazy time would stop there. Of course it didn't. Ben walked into our room with his socks in hand a while later, and said, "Well I guess I won't be wearing these." He had gone into Emma's room while she was getting ready, and she looked and said, "Daddy, why are you wearing that? That does Not look good." He asked what she was talking about, and she informed him that his black socks did NOT look good with his outfit. : ) Too cute! Traffic wasn't as bad as I anticipated, so we had a little more time than I wanted for our first drop off experience. She got right in line with her class who met in the cafeteria and walked on never looking back. She was so excited and confident, and I was so proud and struggling to fight back the tears. As soon as Ben, Bryson, Ava and I told her bye, I couldn't hold back anymore. We left quickly, but it took forever to get out of the school since her class is in the farthest back corner. What a hard day it was for me and the kids. We met some friends at chick-fil-a to share tears and stories while the kids played, and I was finally good for a while. Not long after we got home, Bryson and Ava started asking "Where's Emma?" Bryson kept saying, "I want to go get Emma now. Is it time to go to school and get Emma yet?" I knew he was going to miss her, but I thought he might enjoy a day or two of ruling the roost first. : ) When we FINALLY got in the car to go get her, he told me three times, "Mommy, I'm sad. I don't like Emma at school. I don't want her to go anymore." How are my spirits supposed to improve with that??? Shouts of joy rang out in the car as soon as her school was in sight! We were a little early, so as we sat in the line, I heard, "Mommy, can we please just get Emma?!" We were three happy people when we saw her pretty little self standing in her navy and white dress! She was enjoying a hershey kiss when she got in the van, and was so excited to tell me how fun her day was! I don't know why that didn't help my heart more than it did. I was so happy to see all my babies running around together, happy to be reunited! Change is not an easy thing, and I am a very sad Mommy! I used to shed sympathetic tears with parents of students I had when teaching; I had NO idea how much sadness was behind their tears and how it wasn't over as quickly for them as it was for me. I keep reminding myself that I am blessed to have a child who is growing up and is healthy and able to go to school. It's not like we're going to the hospital long term or leaving her somewhere for weeks. TRYING to keep perspective and count my MANY blessings! We really like her teacher, and I know she'll do well and have a great time! I am looking forward to helping out and going to lunch too! Now I'm just praying to get over these crazy emotions and tears so I can actually do that. I can't go until I can get in and out without crying. I know it's just the first day. Hopefully, after a few days, I will be feeling better about it. It's just super hard to let go some. Ben and I decided today that we are pushing Winthrop big time. : ) Last night, our devotion was about God creating light, and we talked about how God wants Emma to be a light at Mt. Gallant. We do feel strongly that school is a huge mission field, and we are called to be light. I would love to keep her home with me forever, but we know that we can't reach out to many people sitting in our comfort zone. I know that these children aren't mine but the Lord's, and I am trying hard to trust him with their lives. I was reminded of Abraham taking Isaac up the mountain to sacrifice him today. He loved God so much that he was willing to give his son up for the glory of God. God's not asking me to physically sacrifice my child, just share her days. I can do this, right?! And then, I thought about God sending His son into the darkness to save us through a living hell. How did he do it? I am struggling letting mine go into a safe, fun place! I cannot write anymore through my headache and tired eyes. Emma actually has tomorrow off because of a staggered start for Kindergarten. While I think that will make Friday and next Monday almost torturous, I am soooo happy to have her another day!